The Castle of Dreams

Napoleon Dynoflight was a disrespectful little boy. It was a rare occurrence to ever find him doing anything worthwhile. One time he was playing with matches in his bathroom and burned the toilet seat black. When questioned about it by his father, he simply responded, “You’re such a freaking idiot, GOSH!” At school, he was known by his friends as: “tinkle winkle.” The subtle recitation of this phrase was in reference to Napoleon’s bedwetting problems. The other children just couldn’t live it down once they found out. Sadly, Napoleon hates the world because of how everyone treats him.

One night he decided he was never going back to school ever again. When morning came, there weren’t the usual sounds echoing through the house. His curiosity captured him, and pulled him out of bed. No one was at home. As he crept around the house, he heard a loud crash come from his backyard, so he went to investigate. There was a giant castle! The trashcan recently rolled out to the gate was full of soda cans and “Twinkie” wrappers, and resounding from the stone walls was a deep, “BUUURRrrppp.” Someone was inside! Instinctively, he entered the stronghold.

Peering around the corners as he crept through the cold hallways, Napoleon was careful in making his presence unknown. Sitting amidst a green silhouette was a large ogre. He was in his study typing on a blog entitled, “My Brother is a Sellout.” Never giving it a second thought, he continued down the corridor. He came to a room with a sign that said, “Me Take Human.” Glancing through the hole in the doorknob, much to his surprise, he saw his entire family tied up with duck tape around their mouths. “Awesome,” he said under his breath, “What a sweet day! I have a castle in my backyard and an ogre who took my family away from me!” Resuming his journey through the castle, Napoleon came to another door entitled, “Stupid People.” Inside it, in the same fashion as his family, were all the kids from Napoleon’s school. This made Napoleon so happy that he made his hand into a fist and said, “Incredible,” as he pulled it toward his body.

All of the people who made Napoleon’s life miserable were now locked up inside a castle with a giant ogre guarding it. It was as if every dream and prayer our young hero ever had was answered overnight. All of a sudden, there was a loud crash. The door to the castle slammed and the ogre’s wife came marching in.

“Have you been on that stupid computer all day long? Talking on your stupid “blog” about your brother being a sellout? Listen here, I don’t care if he is a sellout, at least he took the movie deal! You were too much of an idiot and missed out on two multimillion dollar productions and now look at us...kidnapping people with our mobile castle? Why don’t you get up and do something? I’m the only person who actually gives a crap about this house and our family. All you do is sit around the computer and mope around all day long eating “Twinkies” and drinking soda!”

“Woman, don’t you ever raise your voice and talk like that to me again!”

The arguement between the couple lasted about five more minutes. While listening to the bickering, Napoleon decided that he wouldn’t want anyone to be captured by these people and listen to this nonsensical fighting for the rest of their lives. Moved with compassion for his enemies, he freed them and they all escaped the castle.

“Ouch,” Napoleon said going back into his house. “What is this feeling burning in my chest?”

His father replied, “That is love, my son. Today was the first time in your life that you showed love to someone other than yourself. Love has nothing to do you getting something. Love is a verb; it is an action. It’s when you do something for someone else.”

“But it hurts real bad!”

“I know son, many people don’t realize that love can hurt. But when it does hurt, you know it’s real, and that is a beautiful thing.”

“Yea, I guess you’re right. Hey, how are we going to get rid of the castle in our backyard?”

“Did you hear them fighting in there? That marriage won’t last much longer. As long as she doesn’t get the house in the divorce, we’ll be ok.”

“Well, that’s good. Why do people get married anyways dad? All married people do is fight.”

“Well son, here is the wisest statement you’ll ever learn about women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.”